Guilty Pleasures: Got No Shame

Everyone's got one, even you.

Don't lie, I know there's something you do that you're not exactly proud of.

Even though my list of guilty pleasures could go on for…well, days, I’ve decided to share some of them today. And I find so much joy in doing most of these things, that even though they made it to my list of “guilty pleasures”, I’ve never felt a single pang of remorse.

On a rare occasion I'll be too ashamed to admit that I like something that I know most people don't like, but I am usually pretty outspoken when it comes to my guilty pleasures.

And it’s time we glorify and celebrate our ridiculous life choices AND own it. So, shove aside those self-proclaimed hipsters and admit that you right there are ah-mah-zing. *now snap your fingers in Z-motion and turn your sass on*

A lot of people are ashamed of being honest about what they love just because someone else might not find it “cool” or “rad” (although if you use that word in 2013, chances are you are neither). And who gets to decide if something is “cool” or not anyway? Is there a list which declares what’s hip or lame? Or that you must be ridiculed just because you like every Sandra Bullock movie or read unhealthy amounts of fanfiction?

I’ll admit that my first reaction when I see a group of teenage girls crying hysterically and freaking out about a One Direction concert is probably to make fun of them because I’m just a mean person like that, but I respect the fact that these people aren’t afraid of what others think of their weird obsessions. They love it and they own it!

Now is your chance to reveal yours to the world, or at least the internet, or at least to whoever reads this blog. Anyway, I'll start:

1.   Glee. This show is stupid and cheesy and weird. And I freakin' love it. (Especially Klaine). And it’s not that fake high school kind love which you get over in a week. It’s the real thing. I still watch it every time I can even though I’ve seen every episode more than twice. Such gooey drama and lovable characters. Who could resist? Not me!
Yes, there are parts of the show which have poorly written and repetitive plotlines, but I’m going to say it again just to put it out there. I STILL LOVE IT. 

And Glee sing-alongs? Best thing ever.

2.    Rocking out musical numbers in the privacy of my own home. I do this all the time. It's impossible for me to not shift my shoulders to the guitar riffs, and the drums beats. But no, I don’t sing in the shower like normal people (which is a shame since bathroom has great acoustics!), I just do it when I’m alone in the house. I even go through the pains of Google-ing song lyrics so I can belt them out perfectly. Sorry neighbors!

3.  Reading fanfiction. In my defense, it's oddly addictive, and I think it's very under-appreciated by the world at large, specifically the writing community. It’s so creative and seems to be an outlet for some very gifted writers. Clever people with talent that I can only dream of. I do admit the fact that there exists some terrifying crap out there which might scar you for life, not because of the writing quality, but because why would anyone in the right mind write fiction built around Voldermort and Darco Malfoy in a romantic relationship? But there are creative writers out there too, who can make you fall in love with those beloved fictional characters you drool on, all over again. So yes, I read fanfiction. Not only that, but sometimes I write fanfiction, too. And I’ve only ever told one other person about it.

4.  Watching trashy reality tv. *hangs head in shame* Okay, first of all, I can feel you judging me. Second of all, I know they are terrible and obviously staged, but I love the drama. It's so much fun to watch men and women who have no idea what they're doing live together and listening to their mindless chatter about the "bitches" in the group. Of course, this is when they're not unashamedly trying to flirt with each other. That just makes me want to throw up. People make fun of me for this one. This is of course before they point and laugh at me. But sometimes a bit of mindless entertainment is the perfect precursor to zoning out after a long day.

5.   Sleeping till noon. If you're anything like me, your mornings begin after 12pm. I don't know if I have acquired some sort of a sleeping sickness, but I tend to sleep like someone who just returned from a day of enormous manual labour, when in reality I hardly even get out of the house. This particular guilty pleasure might get me fired from any potential job in the future but hey, I'm not complaining! Twelve hours of sleep is simply divine.

6.    Cheesy 90’s boy-bands. I guess we all know that the 90s was an awesome decade. Okay, I might have been only 5 years old before it got over, but you don’t get cute boys doing jazz hands and singing about how much they love the girl anymore (no, One Direction doesn’t count!). So yes, my playlist includes Backstreet Boys, Boyzone, Westlife and what not! I love the music, I love the boys and I love the lyrics. And you can judge all you want while I go and listen to Westlife's greatest hits. No, I’m not ashamed.

7.     Unusual laziness. One of my guilty pleasures is displaying acts of such unusual laziness that would make the mere mortal lose faith in humanity. I bat an eyelid and get tired. I throw myself on the bed like I just returned home from war. In reality, it would be a miracle if I am even able to carry myself to another room. I use my toes to pick things up and would rather push stuff under the bed than get up and throw it in the dust bin like a normal human being. Also, right now I'm sitting on a bed filled with food crumbs. Toldya I was weird.

8.    Eating Nutella out of the jar. I do this way too often and at the same time feel guilty about it. Because when I tell people they look at me like I'm a crackhead who steals children's candies. It's not -that- bad okay? I’m pretty sure a lot of people do this.
I love it so much that I actually prefer eating it on its own, without bread or any other accompaniments. Seriously, it's like heaven in a jar.

9.    Watching sappy romantic movies. And crying. Every time. Not only do I watch these movies, but I watch them over and over again. Yes, to the point that I can quote them. Watching them so many times usually results in emotional breakdowns, but I CAN’T STOP WATCHING.

“Hey, wanna see A Walk To Remember 80 times?”

“Done that!”  

10. Celebrity gossip. If there is one guilty pleasure that I'm massively guilty about, it is this one. Yes, I admit that I am obsessed with the daily snippets of celebrity gossip. Sometimes, I open laptop and find myself casually checking out E! Online or PerezHilton.com. I find myself unhealthily drawn towards finding out Taylor Swift's latest beau or wondering why did Kim and Kanye name their baby North West (seriously, why?!). After watching award functions I go online to fawn over the celebrities' gorgeous dresses or get some dirt on the after party gossip. Yes, I too am thinking of getting a life.

11. Darren Criss. I'm not sure if I'd call this a guilty pleasure, per se, since well, I'm pleasured by it, but I’ve never exactly been guilty about it. With those honey-hazel eyes, adorable smile and the ability to work even pink wayfarers like a boss, I would let him take advantage of me anytime, any day. It’s not just the fact that he’s supermegafoxyawesomehot that makes me turn into a lonely little puddle of drool whenever I look at him, but also his incredible acting skills and unparalleled awesomosity. Shrines should be dedicated to him! And if you don’t already love him, then I suggest you watch A Very Potter Musical.

12. Whipped Cream. I deeply love whipped cream and not in some creepy or perverted way but I genuinely adore it. I couldn't care less if I put it on top of everything I eat or spray it in my mouth right out of the can. It is like riding a Unicorn underneath a rainbow in the month of May. I put it on chocolate chip cookies, waffles, pies and even in my coffee. No kidding. Ergo, I think it's time we all agree that whipped cream makes everything tastes better and simply makes life easier.

13. I have a filthy mind. This is true. Try to beat me at "That's what she said". Go on. I dare you. It never gets old. I can’t believe I’m as old as I am and still find it funny. And I'm not really sure if it's something to be proud of, but who doesn't love an atrocious mind? Apart from my parents, I mean. I feel dirty just admitting this. Though it does feel good getting it all off my chest. (That's what she said.)

14. Watching lame sitcoms. I am guilty of watching the lamest, cheesiest and the most nonsensical sitcoms ever created. I am yet to fathom what takes over me but once I am in my pajamas snuggling in my blanket my IQ diminishes to -10. I cry at the corniest moments even if it means breaking into tears when the guy stops the girl at the airport and decides to declare his love. These sitcoms never really get renewed for another season but that never stops me. Yes, I might be a little pathetic. Please don't judge.

15. Putting on pajamas as soon as I get home. No matter how early that time may be. Even if I head home after college at 1pm to spend the rest of the day at home, I am in pajamas within moments of walking through the door. I don’t care if I have to get redressed in an hour, or even 5 times that day. They’re comfy and one of the easiest guilty pleasures out there.

16. Listening to music which is deemed sucky. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just never matured when it comes to music. Sure, I like some nice artists whose music doesn't make me want to hang my head in shame when I admit to liking them, but I listen to mainstream music more than anything. Go ahead, laugh it up, but don’t tell me you’ve never loved it yourself. No matter how much you hate it at first, it’ll end up playing on the radio station you listen to a flobbity jillion times and more till you finally succumb to its audio prowess and can't help from bobbing your head after the first beat and attempting to do a series of ridiculous dance move by the time it's finished.

17.   Pizza. No, wait, food. Any kind. As long as it tastes good. Anything at all. It's not that I eat too much. It's just that I don't exercise enough. I know it's important to pay pretty close attention to what you eat, but sometimes I just like to take a step back and think WHY? Life is short and food is good. One of these days I'm going regret eating that extra slice of double cheese burst pizza and pay for eating those 6 chocolate brownies, but for now, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of them.

18.  The Vampire Diaries. Before I begin explaining this one, let me just establish the fact that I’m not a fan of vampires and neither am I intrigued by werewolves. I certainly do NOT find someone making a meal out of you and reveling in drinking your blood fascinating or romantic. Having said that, I ask you to watch the first episode of this series and you would definitely say, “Damn! That’s interesting… I want to know what happens next.” Nobody sparkles, a vampire creepily stalking humans is barely minimal and there is an actual plotline. Beat that, Twilight!

19.  Taking extremely long showers. I’m the worst water conserver on this planet. Even if it takes me just 10 minutes to wash my hair and soap down, I just HAVE to spend at least 10 more minutes to simply stand under the shower and enjoy the spray. And maybe preen myself in the mirror for another 5 minutes after that. Judge away!

20. Starting new projects and not finishing them. So this usually happens because there are just so many creative things that I want to do or make that I simply don't have the time to follow up on the things that I started before. No wonder my “to-do list” is never ending. And the worst part is that I continue feeling guilty about it and still don’t make time for it.

There you go. Those were some of my guilty pleasures and although a lot of them are embarrassing, they’ve helped me make it through the day more than once.

So, share your guilty pleasures! Shout it from the rooftops. Give yourself permission to be proud of what you love and enjoy every minute of it. Tell people about your crazy obsessions, no matter how lame or cringe worthy they are. It’ll just make you one step closer to learning to love without the fear of judgment.

And if someone still makes fun of you, pity them. They clearly have never felt real passion. 

Image Source: nkayesel.wordpress.com

FAQs To An All-Girls' School Woman

I’m a freshman in college who studied in an “all-girls” Christian school. Inevitably, the inundation of absurd questions follow suit. And trust me; the questions get increasingly ridiculous each time. Also, heartbreaking as it is for me to mention, those questions are primarily raised by girls.While I am building up the fortitude to face the intensified third degree, I undeniably admit that sometimes I wish to sit on a rocket and fly as far away from this world as possible.

I understand most people think that girls studying in a single-sex school must be from a different species altogether that are yet to adapt to social conventions and learn how to carry on a normal conversation without coming across as “overblown”.

However, as someone who has seen both the worlds, I can assure you that experiencing the ambience of a single sex school should definitely make it to your bucket list. I find it exhilarating to be in a place where there is no one to judge you and your actions do not exactly depend on the person whose attention you are vying for. You don’t care how you look because your crush isn’t sitting next to you and you can freely act like a chimp on steroids because there will always be others to join you.

But before I could explain all this to people, they shoot the following asinine questions at me.

“Ermhagerd! Girls are such b*tches! How did you manage to survive?”

If only I had a dollar for every time I was asked this question, I would hire people to dig up a hole to the very core of the Earth and shove those sexists in it! I understand that dealing with countless puberty-stricken girls is not the argument that I would use to help my case, but dealing with hormonally charged girls AND boys? No, thanks. Adolescence is already the most arduous time of a girl’s life. If you exacerbate this situation by adding boys into the equation then it would imply having to cope with my insanely raging hormones ALONG with trying to look pretty in order to impress my crush. Honestly, I would pick relatively less painful ways to die.

Neither would I ever want to vilify my own gender by calling every girl a "b!tch". In my fourteen year long school life, I have come across people who made life a little more grueling for me, but I wouldn't blame the entire female species for that. I would just blame it on the fact that some people are inherently not good persons. Because I have female friends and they are the best things that ever happened to me.

“Are you an over-the-top feminist? ”

Before I begin elaborating this particular point, I would like to say that I could never gauge people’s animosity towards feminists. A few days ago, a girl in my class proudly declared, “I like talking about women empowerment. Oh, but don't worry. I’m not a feminist!”And that’s exactly why I get worried. It rendered me quite disappointed to hear a girl say this, especially in a country like India where the onus of “ghar walon ka moonh kala na karna” remains tied to your gender. Et Tu, Brute?! Feminism is not a movement to slander the male species but it is a movement about advocating equality. That is what single sex school does to girls – it makes them celebrate feminism, not disparage it. Yes, we happen to like the color pink. No, we are not interested in becoming “tomboys” because we are too busy having fun being who we are. You would never find a girl from a single sex school say, “I have more guy friends than girls” or “girls are always jealous of me!”. Loyalty towards your gender is embedded in girls hailing from a same sex school. There is nothing better than that.

“Don’t you feel so much better studying with DA BOYS?!”

This is such a controversial topic. I had interacted with “boys” many times before, I had friends with boyfriends and yet there were people to pester me with statements like, “you have to experience the atmosphere of a co-ed institution”. While I did certainly want to “experience” it, I had never braced myself for what came next – which was a big, fat nothing. I still don't comprehend what the fuss was about. You might spot a handful of cute guys and might finally understand what having a "full-time" crush feels like. But if you're anything like me and have your heart set on a fictional character, then it is futile. Today, I only long for the times when it was alright to fix my clothes in the middle of the hallway or not shave my legs. Things that used to be the least of my concerns are currently my most crucial ones. I can no longer declare fearlessly why my stomach hurts or why I don't want to get up from my chair or why am I in a horrible mood. (There is only one reason for all of these three things). 

“Um, do all girls studying in a single sex school turn into homosexuals?”

Firstly, I do not comprehend what would be so objectionable even if someone is a homosexual. Secondly, it is a ridiculous question which states that single sex schools promote homosexuality. If people think that a person would change their sexual orientation according to their convenience, then they seriously need to work on their IQ. If students study in a single sex school it does not imply that they have never seen what a person of the opposite sex looks like. Unlike what some people might think, such schools are not prisons wherein students are confined for life. They have lives outside schools where they meet and interact with all sorts of people. Somehow, I found this question disturbing and derogatory on so many levels. Often, the people asking this are ignorant and homophobic and, well, I have a serious problem with both.

Having cleared the air surrounding same-sex schools, there are still a few things I have to mention. No matter how impish or awkward you can act and get away with in an all girls’ school, reality is despondently different. In the real world, you have to mingle with people of the opposite sex who sometimes happen to be intimidating or incredibly good looking (or really creepy and repulsive), thus causing your confidence to dwindle. Which is why the greatest years of my life were spent in a place where I could look my worst and daydream that perfect guys who are akin to my favorite fictional characters do exist out there somewhere (they don’t).

Good luck surviving in the real world!

Image Source: theguardian.com

Open Letter To My Best Friend - Part II

Dear best friend,

Since I couldn’t really DO anything brilliantly special for your birthday this year, I thought I’d write you another letter. (Maybe this could become a birthday tradition, eh?)

And I’m feeling particularly sappy, so I get to tell you how much I love you a million times or in a flobbity jillion ways and you can’t do shit about it. *sticks tongue out*

There are multiple reasons why writing this letter seemed like a perfect gift (the best I could come up with, anyway).  1) I’m broke and unemployed, 2) I enjoy writing, and 3) You deserve to know how awesome you are every now and then.

You’re special. I’ve never really had a lot of people I feel comfortable talking to. So every time I was low or upset, I usually resorted to ignoring most of my problems instead of figuring out where things went wrong and attempting to make things better. But we met and became friends. And for some reason, I thought you could be the person I could confide in. After being friends for over a decade, sharing the craziest of dreams, stories and fantasies, my trust in you has only grown beyond light years. You’ve made me realize the importance of having friends, and maintaining relations. You’ve helped me value my relations. So much of who I am and how I think is thanks to you.

I may not have been the kind of friend you wanted me to be. I may not have been there to share the best moments of your life, or the worst. The highs or the lows. But I promise to do the best I can. You’re one of the pillars of my strength. And I promise to always try to be one of yours.

Sometimes I wonder how you know me so well. I’ve always had a handicap of expressing my feelings verbally. But you know things even before I tell you. (Seriously, what kind of sorcery is that?) You know when I am upset. You also know when I just need someone to sit with me to share the silence if I don’t want to talk. Or when I’m just being stubborn. Somehow, you just know. But you never give me the luxury of being in denial or get fed lies. It's one of the reasons why I'm indebted to you for life.

I promise to tell you things. Express my love and fears. I’ve been working on it for a while now.

I love you. There’re not a lot of people I’d take a bullet for. I don’t think I tell you enough.

There are so many words that I could use to describe you -generous, helpful and implausibly caring; but out of all of the adjectives that you are, I think the one that is most accurate is kind. It is a type of quality that makes you irreplaceable. And no wonder being friends with you all these years has made me someone I’m proud to be. Your kindness is unrelenting and I’m certain it will bring all the awesomosity in the world that you deserve.

I promise to always be here, somewhere in the background to remind you every day, lest you ever doubt it.Words are insufficient, but you need to know how awesomely awesome you are, so they’re going to have to do for now, anyway. 

You’re smart and intelligent. And no matter how lost you feel, I know for a fact that wherever you find yourself, will be the right place. It breaks my heart to think of you struggling, because I know sometimes you do. Because, I do, too. I know it feels like the world is being a jerk to you sometimes, when people are mean, or when life is changing and everything is just way too overwhelming, but I know you can endure it. You’re tough. Even if you’re exhausted or busy or mad, I know you make time for the people you love. And we have known each other for a long time. Maybe that’s how I know you’ll be able to deal with difficult and annoying people easily.

I promise never to leave you alone, not because I am incredibly creepy or annoyingly clingy, but because I love you too much to ever let you go.

You care. Everyone else bails. To be honest, I expect them to. Times get rough and I’m not fun to be around when that happens. People don’t like being around in times like these. It’s a burden. But you stay. You stay even when things look bleak. You let me talk and cry and never make me feel guilty for needing you. You’re selfless and loving. And it surprises me because I’ve never known caring like this. You’re inspiring.

You deserve so much more than this little letter, but since I don’t know how I could ever repay you, this is an attempt to do just that. I promise to return the favor even if it takes a lifetime, because I’m not going anywhere.

You and I grew up together. You and I learned about life together. We’ve seen each other move from clueless pre-pubescent kids with coloring books and crayons to teenagers with embarrassing obsessions and truck loads of school work. Trenched through disappointments, heartbreaks, regrets, only to wind up on the other side so much stronger.

I promise to be there to see you become stronger as you move past hurdles, tumbling and falling on occasions. I promise to be there to be your personal cheerleader and applaud with every ounce of my being when you win all the battles.

Among every promise I make today, I think there’s a need to include an apology. I’m not perfect (I know, shocker, right?). For all the unnecessary drama, utterly pointless rants and the hullabaloo that I created in your life. I’m sorry for ever taking you for granted, doing and saying whatever came to my mind with blithe disregard to your feelings. You never hesitated to call me out on my immaturity or let me get away with it. You can be brutal in your opinions and advice, and yet that brutality is laced with all the affection in the world. I am sorry for being self-centered. But I am getting better by the day; or at least trying to be. And the journey from being immature and selfish, to a better person has been has been a learning experience.

There are times when I do not like you too much, because sometimes I think you care a lot and I don’t deserve it. As trite as this may sound, I strive to be a better person because of people like you in my life.

So, I promise. You have given me an important place in your life, and I promise to always value it.

You complete another year of your sheer awesome existence in this world today. No matter how far we've come, how busy we’ve become or how much we’ve matured, nothing can change the care and the affection that I have for you. I am thankful I met you in the 2^nd grade. Because life without you would’ve sucked.

Happy birthday, woman.

Love, always.

P.S. Of course I cried while writing this. Of course I did. We're saps.

Image source: memecenter.com

Tumblr Talk

If you think that the internet is a labyrinth of endless “Sups”, “LOLs”,  or “FMLs”, it is time you crawl out from under your rock and wake up. Because the internet has transformed and how!  We’re witnessing the rise of fangirls and dim-witted morons and it ain’t pretty.  The internet, as we all know, is constantly evolving. As it turns out, keeping up with the latest internet lingo is hard, especially if you have a life. Nevertheless, if you still want to be sucked into the black hole of imbecile internet jargon that portrays you as a 13 year old, worry not! Here is a list of internet terms doing the rounds in cyberspace lately.

1. “SHIP” (short for “relationship”)

Before I begin, let us first stop pretending that we are too cool to be fangirling about something, because we aren’t. All of us are a part of a particular fandom, no matter how lame. I know many of you readers must be Gleeks, Directioners, Potterheads or sadly, even Twihards. When die-hard fangirls like us want a pair to end up together, so much so that we are even ready to organise a homicide if that’s what it takes, we “ship” that particular pair. How to identify that you’re a shipper? These simple symptoms would suffice. Obsessing over couples like Klaine, Finchel, Klaroline, Romione, MerDer or regularly checking out Tumblr and compulsively reading fan fictions. You don’t need to fret, though. Shipping two fictional characters and desperately wanting them to end up together is perfectly normal. Getting into shipping wars, sending out hate tweets to the show’s writers for not listening to you and issuing death threats to whoever opposes your pairing, however, isn’t.  Also, if you’re a true fangirl, you belong to the latter category.

2. “YOLO” (You Only Live Once)

You Only Live Once, or commonly abbreviated as “YOLO”, is an internet slang first coined by the band Suicide Silence and then popularized by rapper Drake. Also, it might just be the dumbest internet term that, as Sheldon Cooper might put it, makes us weep for humanity. Ah, the future of human race never seemed more uncertain! All thanks to a few stupid knuckleheads, who probably would be passed out, doing drugs and living “da thug life”, because, well you know, YOLO. It has, in fact, become an inane justification for this generation’s moronic acts. Dyed your hair blue? YOLO! Got a speeding ticket? YOLO! Arrested for shoplifting? YOLO! I just want to see these morons purposely jump off some sixty feet tall building, because, well - YOLO.

3. “ Asdfghjkl”

Contrary to what you might think, the point above is not some imbecile piece of gibberish. Actually, well it is, but that’s fangirl talk, y'all! If anyone of you has ever been on Tumblr, you would be familiar with this term by now. Though it is a pretty indescribable feeling, let me try to explain it to you. You know fangirls’ tendency to go rabid at the drop of a hat? How they might be flapping their arms, squirming or howling while coming across something that stimulates the fangirl brain cells inside them and gets them, well, a little TOO excited? Those are the times when they are hopelessly unable to explain the myriad of emotions they go through and mere words just won't do! That’s when randomly punching the keys of their keyboard to come up with something as inane as “asdfghkl” comes to their rescue. And yes, this IS how fangirls communicate, EVERY TIME.

4. “SWAG” (Short for “swagger”)

“SWAG “is probably the most formidable opponent of “YOLO” to top the list of the most annoying internet slang. While no one is completely clear on what this term actually means, it is generally a reference to a person’s style, attitude, wrongly placed hats, pulled down jeans and how much they lack brains. It is popularly used by some brain-dead teenagers wanting to describe how “cool” they are.  “Txting dUrInG  cLaSs cuz I got Swag!” or “Tried smoking today, full of SwAg!”. Now while today’s messed up generation might be using this word to convey how “hip and modern” they are while carrying themselves, the sane ones just pray to God to hopefully give them some good sense someday. Also, if a person overuses “swag” to describe himself, chances are, he hasn't got any.

5. “Butthurt”

This term had to be included in the list because the way it is grossly misused and widely misinterpreted almost every time an argument breaks out in the social media. It was once originated for the different class of people getting irrationally infuriated or offended over something seemingly harmless. However, today it seems more like a twelve year old coming up with an asinine reply to an argument because he is too dim witted to give an intelligent rebuttal. Any belligerent internet bully thinks that using this term makes him superior and lets him win an argument. No, they don’t understand how inane and daft they come across. A quick look at the internet and you will find out this term is used on numerous occasions arguments to justify homophobia, sexism or racism. Probably an insult of the highest order, many people refrain from jumping into a heated argument because of the fear of being known as “butthurts” by the cool jocks.

Yes, I too don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Image Source: iwastesomuchtime.com

Was School Really So Cool?

To all the 18 year olds, or soon to be 18 year olds standing at the threshold of life, your state of ambivalence is probably shared by fresh high school graduates all around the world. Daydreaming of stepping into a new exciting life sounds about just as fun as the idea of having to live a life without mom and dad cleaning up your mess sounds miserable.  But hey! We won’t begin with the cheesy old cliché- “Oh! High school comprises the best years of your life! I wish those years never ended!”

No.

Certainly, though, this phase of life will be missed. Texting during classes, doodling on notebooks, inane talks with our best friends or imitating teachers at every chance we get will surely be missed. Having said that, however, we definitely would want to grow out of this phase of our life of embarrassing fangirling, which we have already begun to will later regret (I’m seriously concerned that my obsession with Darren Criss will one day ruin my love life), correlating all of Taylor Swift songs with our life and crushes, or sleepless nights before the exam when we are desperately trying to finish our syllabus.

Yes, school is hard.

It’s not even remotely similar to High School Musical where you can break into dance numbers in the middle of the cafeteria, randomly start singing in unison or put sports and relationships ahead of school work.

This is why we do not mind a time where the “cool kids” or the nerds, both have to start afresh their own lives. Hence justice prevails!

So here we are, with our own list of why high school WON’T be missed.

1. Math Classes

“I LOVE Math!”- said no one ever.  If they did, they are probably sent by evil forces from outer space to study and destroy mankind. Because high school Math is no fun and games. Occult like symbols behind every number or studying a topic like Algebra which funnily enough has nothing to do with numbers- yes, Math is THAT annoying. And you say Math is required in everyday life? Yeah right! Because that’s what EVERYONE does in their daily life, solve ridiculous inequalities or integrate stupid numbers or find the vertical angle of a cone in a hemisphere circumscribed in a sphere inscribed in a cylinder. I would rather summon the Grim Reaper! This is why bidding farewell to school also implies bidding farewell to Math classes that I have deeply detested for so long. I’m unable to recall ONE Math class which I sat through without doodling/not paying attention/not wishing for the bell to ring/not wanting to tear the pages of my book/pull out my hair or plant a nuclear bomb in the class. So yes, I’m a Matheist, and if you’re not and you actually enjoy differentiating this 78xy^2e9+48yz_elog(xyz⁸)=4790xye^x, then I just feel sorry for you.

2. Waking Up At An Insanely Early Hour In The Morning

If your school starts at 8am and your bus reaches the bus stop at 7am, then your life is doomed. Getting up early every day for school had rendered me lifeless and frail. Because even if you’re a morning person, the fact that you have school and the first period starts with you scribbling down to finish your incomplete homework and taking tests is enough to put you to sleep the entire day. 

If there is one thing I would deeply cherish doing after school, it would be catching up on my long lost sleep.

3. Morning Announcements

*BEEP**BEEP**BEEP*

Good morning, children. Please maintain silence as I read to you the meeting timings for a bunch of clubs you don’t care about. The auditions for the Drama Society will be held in the Basketball court-cum-area-we-use-for-every-other-school-activity during recess. The last day to submit your application forms for the quiz no one is going to attend is Tuesday.

Then Mrs. Mukharji will tell you how much you’re being overcharged for the school trip this year. We would also like to inform you how badly our school’s Basketball team lost in a match last week. Now, the Sports Captain will tell you the importance of team spirit because she likes to hear herself talk. And since we’re celebrating Christmas week in our school, we’ll all sing a song about Santa and his sleigh. Thank you.

*BEEP**BEEP**BEEP*

4. Homework

I’m pretty sure homework was invented by some teachers attempting to explode their students’ minds even when they’re at home. Homework is supposed to be a reinforcement of the concepts and information that we’re taught in school and I’m actually happy to do it if it’s mentally stimulating. But sadly, most of the work given as homework involves writing down the same things written in our textbooks in another notebook in a good handwriting. The real problem begins when you spend more time doing homework after school than the time you spend -in- school. Never ending projects, crazy long assignments and finding time to study for the class tests is the reason why we end up sleeping during class.

Teachers: “Why do you look so tired?” 

Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I stayed up all night trying to finish the assignments you gave me!

Homework can not only be a waste of time, but it also takes away from the time we actually STUDY at home. And to be honest, I’d rather throw myself in an eel pond than write pages about why “management is called an inexact science”.

There are plenty of other things that I won’t miss like the obsessive checking for uniform defaulters (how does it matter if my hair clip is black or brown?!), the terrible canteen food, that girl in my class who is only capable of talking about the latest Vogue cover, and the fact that the world “love” is tossed around like a hacky-sack no matter whom you talk to, but rant’s over for now. Ciao.

Image Source: memegenerator.net

Open Letter to My Teenage Self

Honestly, I’ve been sitting here for the past half an hour with the laptop buried in my lap trying to figure out what to say to you. We’ve known each other for a while now and I feel like we’ve reached a steady plateau in our relationship where we can talk about things that you need to know. But here I am, struggling to find words that I wish to carve into your memory so that you may never forget them.

But before I begin, I have a few questions for you. How are you? How did you ever survive being 16? Did you finally manage to act your age and move onto to something bigger rather than spending days curled up in your bed trying to ransack your brain for answers and finding your voice in this world? Because I’ve had enough of the drama now. I’m getting sick of it!

I know you’re at a point in your life when you’re vulnerable. Of course, this doesn’t make up for walking into the glass door of a showroom in the mall yesterday. Neither does it justify you falling from your chair in the classroom. (No, not stumbling down the stairs like normal people, but falling from a freakin’ chair!).

But I’m not here to cruelly remind you of every time you felt embarrassed and humiliated (I’ve lost count honestly), I’m here to tell you of how you’ve become everything you vowed never to be.

Time for some tough love.

So what the hell happened, bro?

I know it all seems difficult at this stage –growing up, getting good grades so that you can at least get into a decent college, and trying to fight the urge in school to stab a few people in the nose with a ball point pen. But you know what? There are bigger things in life to look forward to.

Do you remember telling yourself to not dwell upon what others think of you? Do you remember promising yourself that you will never change who you are? What’s wrong with your ferocious mood swings like a giant oscillating pendulum? Is this some sort of a teenage bipolar disorder? And there are not just the mood swings, but also mood slides, mood see-saws and mood bloody jungle gyms.

Feeling all foolishly happy like Santa’s stoned elf and then come crashing down to ground like a heartbroken and deceived Hindi Movie heroine.  Well, SUCK IT UP!

I do not, for the love of god, understand why you’re turning into such a Devdas in life. What exact phrases and paraphrases do you want me to preach to you that would stop you from whining and brooding over how strenuous 12^th grade is for you all the time?

Today, finally being thrown out in the spotlight, I beg you to hear my voice which you most often choose to ignore. Everytime you felt broken, or just too weak to face the reality, you sent me off to the world as your savior, hoping it would make things better. In an attempt to fight the disappointments or the brutal words of other malicious beings, I was created –your dauntless alter ego, hurled into the world to slash all those who tried to hurt you. But you know what? I’m not doing that anymore! I’m tired of being the Superman to your Clark Kent.

As a teenager, yeah, you’re still immature, but I know you always try to be self aware; be responsible. And to be honest, I’m genuinely proud of you for trying. But right now, your attitude towards life is worse than a teenage boy adding obscure bands in the list of favourite musicians on his Facebook page to come across as "cool".

I know you hate putting yourself out there because you’re afraid of failing miserably and embarrassing yourself. But let me tell you something, even if you fail it wouldn’t matter; because we’re still just teenagers trying to make it in the little game.

Do you remember the time you were awfully chipper and jovial that people turned to YOU for advice? What’s with this sudden feeling of isolation like the weight of the entire universe is upon your shoulder?

You, my friend, have lost the reason that made you jaunty and happy. The constant feeling of being underrated. I know, it sucks. But brooding over it isn’t gonna help, is it? I recommend you to join a club of well, ALL teenagers! So don’t start with a pity party where the theme is how hard it is to survive as a teenager.

Now I could be evil and let the most awesome years of your life pass you by. But since I care about you so damn much, I have to stop you.

Yes, these years are amazing. Way better than worrying about growing up, earning your own money, not having to depend on Mom and Dad for it, no deadline for your bedtime, doing whatever the hell you want to…

Okay, wait, I kinda lost my drift there.

But it IS better than worrying about jobs, promotions, presentations, marriage, kids (ugh, those nasty brats!).

Don’t you get it? You don’t need to be rescued. You don’t NEED a savior.

This is the year of the future. That future we spent dreaming about every night this year. Now is the time to turn those dreams into reality. Now is the time when I can see you work hard towards the goals you set out to achieve. Now is the time when I can see you struggle to free yourself from the bars of conventionality, fighting your way out with the strongest of blows, and being your own savior. Now is the time to finally find your own voice. And now is the time when I bid you farewell because as you cross over the obstacles thrown your way, tumbling and falling, bruising yourself with every step, you become stronger –stronger than me.

So Carpe Diem, woman! Soak in every minute of awesomeness that your life is. Celebrate how you never gave up even when you wanted to (even when the reasons were dumb enough).  Be proud of not losing the sight of yourself and sticking up to your beliefs.

You may or may not be the most popular of them all that a thousand people would want to add you on Facebook, but you WILL always remain this beautiful, sappy li’l weirdo that you are. Your family and friends know it. And that is all that matters.

Don’t worry about me, though. I’ll still be here when this is all over; somewhere in the background watching you; cheering and applauding with all my might, when you have successfully conquered this battle. Or to pull you back up if you somehow manage to act like that Humpty Dumpty retard and fall over the edge again.

I’ll write to you again someday. To remind you of who you really are lest you ever forget. And to show you that you can achieve a lot more than what you’ve settled for. So, keep calm and love yourself, because despite everything, I know I do.

Image Source: knowyourmeme.com

Hey Bully, What's Up?

Lo and Behold beloved readers, for the moment you all so long and desperately waited for has arrived. Yes, we know the ordeal you must have been through. The desperate prayers, sleepless nights and furious anticipations, and finally, Acrimonious Snob has returned. But we didn’t give you a complete dry spell, did we? There was a guest post written exclusively for you, which surely doesn’t make up for our two month long hiatus, but the ordeal that we went through was pretty tormenting too.

So, what sucks about being a 12th grader apart from Boards? Pre boards. We were away studying for these exams, which ultimately proved to be futile since they went horribly, our lives were sucked out of us and we wonder how we even made it alive.

But since we did, here we are with our very first blog post after a long gap. And in case you start wondering about the nature of this post thinking that the drudgery of exams has rendered us melodramatically and extravagantly severe and solemn, well it has.

But that’s not the reason we chose to write this post. The reason is a little more personal.

So, why would the otherwise cheerful and sanguine blogger suddenly choose to write about something as serious as bullying? Because I have seen it happen. And as a high schooler, it shouldn’t be much of a shock. Except that, it was, because I never imagined a friend so close to me, whom I’ve known for around five years, could ever be a victim of it. It’s been a year, and I couldn’t admire her resilience more than I do now. Even though it’s all over now, I still remember all that she went through.

Though her enmity with a certain person begun over something quite petty, probably some argument leading to an ugly fight, she surely wouldn’t have thought it would lead her to where it did. There was name calling, UGLY name calling, flinging out abuses wherever she went, the girl and her accomplices following her and jumping at every chance to insult her.

And then, they fell really low. There was a time when my friend used to wonder that any unknown caller could be the girls trying to harass her. And then there was text bullying, which was all the worse.  Of course, being her friend and sticking up for her, I bore the brunt of it too. But she bore the most. And thanks to Facebook, cyber stalking and cyber bullying was another way to tease her‐ fake accounts and snide comments.

But despite all of it, never once did she dignify those name callings and abuses with a response. She knew it would worsen it all the more. But moreover, she knew she wasn’t that person. And if there is ONE thing she retained through it all, it was her self-respect.

I deliberated a long time coming up with a sentence that would hopefully complement the gravely sombre and widely relevant subject this is. So here is it y’all –bullying sucks.

I’ve had the misfortune of knowing many people having the personality of a breadstick that when you meet them in real life, you wouldn’t believe they are the same people that they come across on Facebook. They aren’t half as “awesome” as they claim to be. And they take on the internet to complain/whine/grumble about everything gone awry.

And while Facebook just made the life of stalkers and bullies so much more convenient, the worst part is that when something is out there on the social media, it is for the world to see. 

The controversial case of Amanda Todd that ended tragically met the wrath of thousands of irascible internet trolls. Nobody condones her actions and whatever she did to face the inevitable consequences that she had to. But the fifteen year old girl is dead now. Can’t we show a little more respect to someone who died?

Or the less controversial case of Balpreet Kaur, who chose to give a placid dignified response to the man who clicked her picture and put it up on some social networking site, mocking her for her looks. Even though her reply made me want to stand up and salute her, it also made me shudder to think that girls live in a world where a bad dressing sense and not sticking up to conventional good , "girly" looks could land their pictures up on the internet for the world to have a good laugh.

Sure, there are many empowering songs and stories of people enduring bullying and emerging out of it as strong individuals. And the victims can always try to make themselves feel better by telling themselves that they will survive it, and all their bullies “are ever gonna be is mean”. But does it really matter?

Do we really think that these bullies themselves feel empty and crushed inside, which is why they act out? That they are the actual losers in life who end up alone in a ramshackle trailer and repent all they did? Well, maybe the loser cyber bullies on the internet would. Maybe not.

But the ones in schools and colleges don’t.

For a high school kid who thrives on popularity, being alienated and left alone is the worst. It is the time -kindly excuse the cheesiness that would follow- when we are yet to figure stuff out, enjoy even the silliest of things, laugh like a hyena, fall for a fictional character or an out of reach celebrity, hope to live like F.R.I.E.N.D.S someday, daydream, have crushes, stress about how we’ll fail the exams or how we passed the deadline for homework, discover ourselves, screw things up and fix ‘em back with no worries about anything because we know that it is all we’re gonna get in a few years (or months). But certainly, it is not a time where we begin self-loathing, worrying about things we shouldn’t be worrying about.

But I have hope. So if someone does drive a person over to the edge to cause them to have this outlook towards life, then yes, you may become rich and successful, or not, but surely all you’re ever gonna be is mean.

Image source : thepunch.com.au