Open Letter To Junior Thomasites

Dear Junior Thomasites,

You enter high school as a quiet loner with hyperactive imagination.  You’re all confused. And if you weren’t already confused enough, puberty is bound to screw things up a little. Each year you’re going to be told that the work load of the coming year will be larger. And it will be.

You’ll be expected to start taking your studies more seriously, pushed to get straight ‘A’s, participate in sports events and even run for the school elections by your parents. At the same time you’ll be required to find time for your friends and expected to catch up on the latest Hollywood gossip.

High school can be awkward for everyone. Even if you’re one of the most popular people around or a social cripple. Especially if you’re a Thomasite, life can be relentless, frantic and exhausting.

There will be days when it’ll seem like every girl you run into is a cut throat bitch, even the ones who used to be your friends. And most of the times, it turns out to be quite true which will make you curse your “all-girls school”. There’s always so much pressure. There will be times when you try desperately to fit in among the “cool kids”, but fail miserably. You’d want to be accepted just the way you are, and it might not always work in the cruel world of high school. There will be days when you feel like you’re stuck in a strange place filled with catty teenage girls, and that you’re constantly unappreciated and underrated. These are the years when your self esteem can shoot up or come crashing down within the same time. And considering these are your formative years, a bad high school experience might leave a few of you with pretty bad memories.

You’ll be taught enough equations in high school that will make you want to shoot yourself, but as a fellow survivor of the hell called adolescence, I’m here to teach you a few equations which you wouldn’t be taught in any Math lesson, but are equally important if you want to make your high school experience a little less painful.

           1. Koyal Rana : St. Thomas’  ≠ Shahrukh Khan : St. Columba's

We Thomasites tend to be jingoistic about our alma mater, which is not bad, but when we become boastful and borderline arrogant, it gets on people’s nerves. We don’t often realize that we end up bragging about various things associated with our school. We love Koyal Rana, and there are no two ways about the fact that she is probably the prettiest girl to ever study in St. Thomas’. But we hate it when you simply can’t stop bragging about how this Teen Diva is an alumnus of our school. Just the fact that a mini celebrity, Koyal Rana studied in your school, is not something to boast about. I’d like to make it clear here, that I do not any personal grudges against her. But YOU –you annoying little girl who just wouldn’t stop talking about how Ms. Rana starred in the latest commercial for a blackhead removing scrub or how you spot her on every Coca-Cola banner in town make me want to kill myself. It’s time you start creating your own name and place in this world instead of deriving pleasure and pride out of constantly boasting about her. Our school produces wonderful alumni who go on to be pretty successful in their fields. PLEASE seek to be one of them.

           2. Bata > Adidas

While we’re at the topic of stopping ourselves from turning into a bunch of braggadocios, kindly refrain from bragging about your black Adidas sports shoes. The white tennis shoes were way better. They were light and comfortable. Walking around in these black shoes is like dragging a giant coffin tied to your feet.

            3. Christian School  ≠ Convent School

It’s sad that many Indians still believe a Christian school has to be a convent. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, it doesn’t. We are not ruled by the British anymore. So Junior Thomasites, please stop mistaking our school for a convent.  We are not coerced into harsh punishments after the slightest infringement of school rules. It’s a friggin’ Christian school and is NOT run by missionaries and nuns.  So it’s a humble request to stop comparing yourselves with other CJMites.

             4. Expectations > Reality

Our feet can be too big for our boots. We expect too much than our school can provide. And we’re not far from expecting a fancy limousine instead of our school buses waiting to pick us up at our bus stop and expecting a red carpet entry. We need to get real here. I know you’re ready to spend tons of money for the school trip you’re planning to go to during the vacations, but please stop expecting our school to make you stay in a swanky hotel when you go to Mussourie. It ain’t happening. Our school owns a lodge that has recently been renovated, so I’m guessing that should stop you from cribbing for a little while.

           5. Canteen food ≠ Sanjeev Kapoor’s  Kitchen

I know when you first walked into the Senior School canteen you expected a skinny, semi-bald cordon bleu chef with a scary mustache like the one we had in the Junior Section who makes food so good, your mouth will have an orgasm each time you take a bite. But you’re in high school, girl. Nobody wants to see you hogging on the canteen food anymore. So by providing food which is no haven for compulsive foodies, they’re just helping you to lose a bit of that waistline. Ergo, just make your peace with it and stop bickering.

            6. Girls School Fun > Coed School Fun

It’s our sincere and humble request to please stop wishing this was a co-ed school where you could get to be with boys as well. Let’s face it –boys are, were and will forever remain stupid. Besides, let’s be honest here –a group of girls can have way more fun together than with a bunch of boys! No, I’m neither in denial nor am I a misandrist hiding behind the garb of feminism. The truth is, you might care about missing out on studying along with boys. But the cool part of studying in an all girls school is that nobody here cares about asking dumb questions in class, or looking pretty, or doing something embarrassing. I’m not saying that guys are judgmental; but I know how girls tend to care about what they think. And that can be distracting.

Memorize these equations and you're sure to survive high school and make your experience worthwhile!

Image source: www.garnetchaney.com