Baal Baal Dekho

I hated my hair as a kid. My parents would take me to the barber’s shop every six months for a haircut. I’d hate that place. Because every time I went there, my 10 inches long hair would be trimmed down to 3 inches. I had a boy-cut till I was 7 years old and a really short bob for the next 3 years. I’d always wish I had longer hair which could at least be plaited down into cute braids. You see, there’s a certain amount of vanity in long tresses.

By the time I got into the 6^th grade, I had shoulder length hair and I had decided upon growing it even longer. This was the time when the ritualized trips to the barber had come to an end and my mother finally decided to give me the freedom to style my hair whichever way I wanted. I grew my hair for the next couple of years. I finally had hair long enough to be tied into braids. But this was when I realized how unmanageable long hair can get.

Life without hair must be a lot easier to take. People who lose their hair and/or choose to shave their heads would know this.

A man can freely do so without giving it a second thought, but if a girl decides to take this step, she will become the talk of the town. Her bald head will soon become controversial. After all, a woman can’t go against what the society expects her to be –a fragile object of beauty? It just wouldn’t make sense in this society who has taught women to be Cosmo girls who wear high heels, have a beautiful figure, pursed lips, small hips and long and pretty hair. And even though it’s just hair, it says something about the vanity of our culture, doesn’t it? Despite how far we’ve come, beauty and sexuality remain tied to a woman’s hair.   

Why does a girl suddenly become unattractive if she has no hair on her head? Is our identity really a haircut away from being taken? What is this global fetish with hair?

Women have always conformed to the norms of the society. If we don’t toe the line of femininity or behave in a way which is even slightly different from the way society expects us to behave, we’re labeled as freaks. Outcasts. 

Sure, not every girl will look like Demi Moore from GI Jane or Natalie Portman from V for Vandetta, and some might even look crazier than the bald Britney Spears, but what people fail to realize is that nobody’s identity is molded by their hair, but rather by the content of their character; their morals, their values, their thoughts and their dreams.

And if a woman DOES decide to do this, she will surely be looked down upon. Some people might even stare at her, mock her, think she is stoned or start speculating about her sexuality. After all, long tresses have always looked desirable on women. It is the symbol of beauty  and if they are chopped off, people would say a woman has lost her sheen, even her femininity.

Come to think of it, shaving off the hair must be liberating. It’s low maintenance too. Going bald would also be more environment-friendly in saving water and the time that people spend in the shower washing and styling their hair. They wouldn’t have to worry about spending money on haircuts or on all those hair products people use to make their hair look lustrous and less stringy.

I’ve always wanted to try this too. But it’s difficult –throwing away something sure about yourself, a quintessential part of your identity. And it takes a strong person to break out from the normal and be different.
So, I guess I still try to hide behind the wall of my own hair because when I look at myself, that is one of the few beautiful things that I see  –and I know I have a lot to work on when it comes to my self esteem. I want to know what it feels like to not worry about my appearance. I want to know what it feels like to look a certain way that will ensure that no sane guy would ever hit on me and still be okay with it. I want to know what it feels like to be appreciated as who I’ve put in the time and effort to really become, and not just the body I was born in.

There will always be people who’ll tease me or deride me, but I guess I’ll also be able to find out who my real friends are; people who’ll be willing to look past my face and love the person inside.

I refuse to tell myself that I won’t value the same because I look a certain way. I know my hairstyle doesn’t define who I am. Plus, it’s just hair –It grows back! But I also realize that life would not be the same for me once I decide to do something so extreme. Maybe someday I’ll be able to muster all my courage and actually do it.

I wish I lived in a world where people are not so concerned with superficial ideas. At the end of the day, I don’t want people to remember me by the way I look or dress or carry my hair, but by the person I am.

Image Source: www.liesyoungwomenbelieve.com