Since I couldn’t really DO anything brilliantly special for your birthday this year, I thought I’d write you another letter. (Maybe this could become a birthday tradition, eh?)
And I’m feeling particularly sappy, so I get to tell you how much I love you a million times or in a flobbity jillion ways and you can’t do shit about it. *sticks tongue out*
There are multiple reasons why writing this letter seemed like a perfect gift (the best I could come up with, anyway). 1) I’m broke and unemployed, 2) I enjoy writing, and 3) You deserve to know how awesome you are every now and then.
You’re special. I’ve never really had a lot of people I feel comfortable talking to. So every time I was low or upset, I usually resorted to ignoring most of my problems instead of figuring out where things went wrong and attempting to make things better. But we met and became friends. And for some reason, I thought you could be the person I could confide in. After being friends for over a decade, sharing the craziest of dreams, stories and fantasies, my trust in you has only grown beyond light years. You’ve made me realize the importance of having friends, and maintaining relations. You’ve helped me value my relations. So much of who I am and how I think is thanks to you.
I may not have been the kind of friend you wanted me to be. I may not have been there to share the best moments of your life, or the worst. The highs or the lows. But I promise to do the best I can. You’re one of the pillars of my strength. And I promise to always try to be one of yours.
Sometimes I wonder how you know me so well. I’ve always had a handicap of expressing my feelings verbally. But you know things even before I tell you. (Seriously, what kind of sorcery is that?) You know when I am upset. You also know when I just need someone to sit with me to share the silence if I don’t want to talk. Or when I’m just being stubborn. Somehow, you just know. But you never give me the luxury of being in denial or get fed lies. It's one of the reasons why I'm indebted to you for life.
I promise to tell you things. Express my love and fears. I’ve been working on it for a while now.
I love you. There’re not a lot of people I’d take a bullet for. I don’t think I tell you enough.
There are so many words that I could use to describe you -generous, helpful and implausibly caring; but out of all of the adjectives that you are, I think the one that is most accurate is kind. It is a type of quality that makes you irreplaceable. And no wonder being friends with you all these years has made me someone I’m proud to be. Your kindness is unrelenting and I’m certain it will bring all the awesomosity in the world that you deserve.
I promise to always be here, somewhere in the background to remind you every day, lest you ever doubt it.Words are insufficient, but you need to know how awesomely awesome you are, so they’re going to have to do for now, anyway.
You’re smart and intelligent. And no matter how lost you feel, I know for a fact that wherever you find yourself, will be the right place. It breaks my heart to think of you struggling, because I know sometimes you do. Because, I do, too. I know it feels like the world is being a jerk to you sometimes, when people are mean, or when life is changing and everything is just way too overwhelming, but I know you can endure it. You’re tough. Even if you’re exhausted or busy or mad, I know you make time for the people you love. And we have known each other for a long time. Maybe that’s how I know you’ll be able to deal with difficult and annoying people easily.
I promise never to leave you alone, not because I am incredibly creepy or annoyingly clingy, but because I love you too much to ever let you go.
You care. Everyone else bails. To be honest, I expect them to. Times get rough and I’m not fun to be around when that happens. People don’t like being around in times like these. It’s a burden. But you stay. You stay even when things look bleak. You let me talk and cry and never make me feel guilty for needing you. You’re selfless and loving. And it surprises me because I’ve never known caring like this. You’re inspiring.
You deserve so much more than this little letter, but since I don’t know how I could ever repay you, this is an attempt to do just that. I promise to return the favor even if it takes a lifetime, because I’m not going anywhere.
You and I grew up together. You and I learned about life together. We’ve seen each other move from clueless pre-pubescent kids with coloring books and crayons to teenagers with embarrassing obsessions and truck loads of school work. Trenched through disappointments, heartbreaks, regrets, only to wind up on the other side so much stronger.
I promise to be there to see you become stronger as you move past hurdles, tumbling and falling on occasions. I promise to be there to be your personal cheerleader and applaud with every ounce of my being when you win all the battles.
Among every promise I make today, I think there’s a need to include an apology. I’m not perfect (I know, shocker, right?). For all the unnecessary drama, utterly pointless rants and the hullabaloo that I created in your life. I’m sorry for ever taking you for granted, doing and saying whatever came to my mind with blithe disregard to your feelings. You never hesitated to call me out on my immaturity or let me get away with it. You can be brutal in your opinions and advice, and yet that brutality is laced with all the affection in the world. I am sorry for being self-centered. But I am getting better by the day; or at least trying to be. And the journey from being immature and selfish, to a better person has been has been a learning experience.
There are times when I do not like you too much, because sometimes I think you care a lot and I don’t deserve it. As trite as this may sound, I strive to be a better person because of people like you in my life.
So, I promise. You have given me an important place in your life, and I promise to always value it.
You complete another year of your sheer awesome existence in this world today. No matter how far we've come, how busy we’ve become or how much we’ve matured, nothing can change the care and the affection that I have for you. I am thankful I met you in the 2nd grade. Because life without you would’ve sucked.
Happy birthday, woman.
P.S. Of course I cried while writing this. Of course I did. We're saps.
Image source: memecenter.com