If you think that the internet is a labyrinth of endless “Sups”, “LOLs”, or “FMLs”, it is time you crawl out from under your rock and wake up. Because the internet has transformed and how! We’re witnessing the rise of fangirls and dim-witted morons and it ain’t pretty. The internet, as we all know, is constantly evolving. As it turns out, keeping up with the latest internet lingo is hard, especially if you have a life. Nevertheless, if you still want to be sucked into the black hole of imbecile internet jargon that portrays you as a 13 year old, worry not! Here is a list of internet terms doing the rounds in cyberspace lately.
1. “SHIP” (short for “relationship”)
Before I begin, let us first stop pretending that we are too cool to be fangirling about something, because we aren’t. All of us are a part of a particular fandom, no matter how lame. I know many of you readers must be Gleeks, Directioners, Potterheads or sadly, even Twihards. When die-hard fangirls like us want a pair to end up together, so much so that we are even ready to organise a homicide if that’s what it takes, we “ship” that particular pair. How to identify that you’re a shipper? These simple symptoms would suffice. Obsessing over couples like Klaine, Finchel, Klaroline, Romione, MerDer or regularly checking out Tumblr and compulsively reading fan fictions. You don’t need to fret, though. Shipping two fictional characters and desperately wanting them to end up together is perfectly normal. Getting into shipping wars, sending out hate tweets to the show’s writers for not listening to you and issuing death threats to whoever opposes your pairing, however, isn’t. Also, if you’re a true fangirl, you belong to the latter category.
2. “YOLO” (You Only Live Once)
You Only Live Once, or commonly abbreviated as “YOLO”, is an internet slang first coined by the band Suicide Silence and then popularized by rapper Drake. Also, it might just be the dumbest internet term that, as Sheldon Cooper might put it, makes us weep for humanity. Ah, the future of human race never seemed more uncertain! All thanks to a few stupid knuckleheads, who probably would be passed out, doing drugs and living “da thug life”, because, well you know, YOLO. It has, in fact, become an inane justification for this generation’s moronic acts. Dyed your hair blue? YOLO! Got a speeding ticket? YOLO! Arrested for shoplifting? YOLO! I just want to see these morons purposely jump off some sixty feet tall building, because, well - YOLO.
3. “ Asdfghjkl”
Contrary to what you might think, the point above is not some imbecile piece of gibberish. Actually, well it is, but that’s fangirl talk, y'all! If anyone of you has ever been on Tumblr, you would be familiar with this term by now. Though it is a pretty indescribable feeling, let me try to explain it to you. You know fangirls’ tendency to go rabid at the drop of a hat? How they might be flapping their arms, squirming or howling while coming across something that stimulates the fangirl brain cells inside them and gets them, well, a little TOO excited? Those are the times when they are hopelessly unable to explain the myriad of emotions they go through and mere words just won't do! That’s when randomly punching the keys of their keyboard to come up with something as inane as “asdfghkl” comes to their rescue. And yes, this IS how fangirls communicate, EVERY TIME.
4. “SWAG” (Short for “swagger”)
“SWAG “is probably the most formidable opponent of “YOLO” to top the list of the most annoying internet slang. While no one is completely clear on what this term actually means, it is generally a reference to a person’s style, attitude, wrongly placed hats, pulled down jeans and how much they lack brains. It is popularly used by some brain-dead teenagers wanting to describe how “cool” they are. “Txting dUrInG cLaSs cuz I got Swag!” or “Tried smoking today, full of SwAg!”. Now while today’s messed up generation might be using this word to convey how “hip and modern” they are while carrying themselves, the sane ones just pray to God to hopefully give them some good sense someday. Also, if a person overuses “swag” to describe himself, chances are, he hasn't got any.
This term had to be included in the list because the way it is grossly misused and widely misinterpreted almost every time an argument breaks out in the social media. It was once originated for the different class of people getting irrationally infuriated or offended over something seemingly harmless. However, today it seems more like a twelve year old coming up with an asinine reply to an argument because he is too dim witted to give an intelligent rebuttal. Any belligerent internet bully thinks that using this term makes him superior and lets him win an argument. No, they don’t understand how inane and daft they come across. A quick look at the internet and you will find out this term is used on numerous
occasions arguments to justify homophobia, sexism or racism. Probably an insult of the highest order, many people refrain from jumping into a heated argument because of the fear of being known as “butthurts” by the cool jocks.
Yes, I too don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
Image Source: iwastesomuchtime.com