Busting BuzzFeed's Buzz

Now, I’m not one to shell out unsolicited advice to anyone. However, here are a few words of wisdom that might take you a long way – kindly do not make life decisions based on the flobbity-jillion BuzzFeed quizzes taking over your Facebook profile nowadays.

Yes, apart from providing us with a comprehensive list of GIFs for every occasion, BuzzFeed has also started introducing quizzes for online users. So while I was snuggling in my blanket watching the Oscars and fangirling over the much talked about selfie that instantly went viral, a few of my Facebook friends were posting results to the plethora of personality quizzes. I too quickly jumped on the bandwagon and was bowled over by how awesome these quizzes made me think I am. (Which Beatle are you? Psychedelic John Lennon. Which Queen of Comedy are you? Ellen DeGeneres. What city should you actually live in? Paris, FTW!)

I did not care that the algorithm was actually quite messed up, or the fact that the person who made the quiz probably has no qualification to assess which flavor of ice-cream I am or what super power I should have. I did not understand that in all likelihood, nobody on my Facebook list would really care about these results. I was obsessed and fell into a downward spiral of quizzes. And more quizzes. And more quizzes. Until I came across this.

This launched me into contemplative zone.

If BuzzFeed has to decide which haircut I should go for, then it’s time for me to step back into reality. Why was I so addicted to a few questions that would ultimately just accommodate me into some categories? Why was I letting myself be analyzed by a few algorithms? Why did I want to know which celebrity butt should I have unless it's Darren Criss' on a plaque for me to keep in my cupboard next to the jar of James McAvoy's eyes and Chris Pine's face? Why did I have such creepy thoughts? Why were my brain cells deserting me? Why do I care about which cookie I am? When will I ever get a life?

So, these wondrous moments of epiphany were followed by my going through a list of super absurd quizzes and trust me, I saw quite a few.

WHAT’S YOUR INNER POTATO?
WHICH POSSIBLE ILLUMINATI MEMBER ARE YOU?
WHICH FAMOUS BUTT SHOULD YOU HAVE?
WHICH CONSPIRACY THEORY SHOULD YOU BELIEVE IN?
WHICH CHEMICAL ATOM ARE YOU?
WHAT KIND OF PASTA ARE YOU?
WHICH FACIAL HAIR ARE YOU?
WHICH OF HARRY STYLES’ EXES ARE YOU?
THE GROSSEST THING YOU’LL EVER DO ON YOUR PHONE?
HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE PIZZA? (You think this is a joke?!)

THESE were the quizzes that I had been waiting for my entire life. Taking these quizzes is the only way to know the answer to all of life's essential questions. Who cares about finding a high paying job and worrying about getting good grades in college, if according to 'What Grade Are You Getting In Life?' you get an A+? Honestly, how do you expect to go anywhere in life if you don't even know which rockstar you should hook up with, or which fast food chain you are because obviously, your entire personality can be summed up as “Subway”. Plus, now that I know what my inner potato is (french fries FTW!), I think I have successfully unlocked the greatest unanswered questions of life.

Image Source: www.buzzfeed.com