Open Letter to My Teenage Self

Honestly, I’ve been sitting here for the past half an hour with the laptop buried in my lap trying to figure out what to say to you. We’ve known each other for a while now and I feel like we’ve reached a steady plateau in our relationship where we can talk about things that you need to know. But here I am, struggling to find words that I wish to carve into your memory so that you may never forget them.

But before I begin, I have a few questions for you. How are you? How did you ever survive being 16? Did you finally manage to act your age and move onto to something bigger rather than spending days curled up in your bed trying to ransack your brain for answers and finding your voice in this world? Because I’ve had enough of the drama now. I’m getting sick of it!

I know you’re at a point in your life when you’re vulnerable. Of course, this doesn’t make up for walking into the glass door of a showroom in the mall yesterday. Neither does it justify you falling from your chair in the classroom. (No, not stumbling down the stairs like normal people, but falling from a freakin’ chair!).

But I’m not here to cruelly remind you of every time you felt embarrassed and humiliated (I’ve lost count honestly), I’m here to tell you of how you’ve become everything you vowed never to be.

Time for some tough love.

So what the hell happened, bro?

I know it all seems difficult at this stage –growing up, getting good grades so that you can at least get into a decent college, and trying to fight the urge in school to stab a few people in the nose with a ball point pen. But you know what? There are bigger things in life to look forward to.

Do you remember telling yourself to not dwell upon what others think of you? Do you remember promising yourself that you will never change who you are? What’s wrong with your ferocious mood swings like a giant oscillating pendulum? Is this some sort of a teenage bipolar disorder? And there are not just the mood swings, but also mood slides, mood see-saws and mood bloody jungle gyms.

Feeling all foolishly happy like Santa’s stoned elf and then come crashing down to ground like a heartbroken and deceived Hindi Movie heroine.  Well, SUCK IT UP!

I do not, for the love of god, understand why you’re turning into such a Devdas in life. What exact phrases and paraphrases do you want me to preach to you that would stop you from whining and brooding over how strenuous 12^th grade is for you all the time?

Today, finally being thrown out in the spotlight, I beg you to hear my voice which you most often choose to ignore. Everytime you felt broken, or just too weak to face the reality, you sent me off to the world as your savior, hoping it would make things better. In an attempt to fight the disappointments or the brutal words of other malicious beings, I was created –your dauntless alter ego, hurled into the world to slash all those who tried to hurt you. But you know what? I’m not doing that anymore! I’m tired of being the Superman to your Clark Kent.

As a teenager, yeah, you’re still immature, but I know you always try to be self aware; be responsible. And to be honest, I’m genuinely proud of you for trying. But right now, your attitude towards life is worse than a teenage boy adding obscure bands in the list of favourite musicians on his Facebook page to come across as "cool".

I know you hate putting yourself out there because you’re afraid of failing miserably and embarrassing yourself. But let me tell you something, even if you fail it wouldn’t matter; because we’re still just teenagers trying to make it in the little game.

Do you remember the time you were awfully chipper and jovial that people turned to YOU for advice? What’s with this sudden feeling of isolation like the weight of the entire universe is upon your shoulder?

You, my friend, have lost the reason that made you jaunty and happy. The constant feeling of being underrated. I know, it sucks. But brooding over it isn’t gonna help, is it? I recommend you to join a club of well, ALL teenagers! So don’t start with a pity party where the theme is how hard it is to survive as a teenager.

Now I could be evil and let the most awesome years of your life pass you by. But since I care about you so damn much, I have to stop you.

Yes, these years are amazing. Way better than worrying about growing up, earning your own money, not having to depend on Mom and Dad for it, no deadline for your bedtime, doing whatever the hell you want to…

Okay, wait, I kinda lost my drift there.

But it IS better than worrying about jobs, promotions, presentations, marriage, kids (ugh, those nasty brats!).

Don’t you get it? You don’t need to be rescued. You don’t NEED a savior.

This is the year of the future. That future we spent dreaming about every night this year. Now is the time to turn those dreams into reality. Now is the time when I can see you work hard towards the goals you set out to achieve. Now is the time when I can see you struggle to free yourself from the bars of conventionality, fighting your way out with the strongest of blows, and being your own savior. Now is the time to finally find your own voice. And now is the time when I bid you farewell because as you cross over the obstacles thrown your way, tumbling and falling, bruising yourself with every step, you become stronger –stronger than me.

So Carpe Diem, woman! Soak in every minute of awesomeness that your life is. Celebrate how you never gave up even when you wanted to (even when the reasons were dumb enough).  Be proud of not losing the sight of yourself and sticking up to your beliefs.

You may or may not be the most popular of them all that a thousand people would want to add you on Facebook, but you WILL always remain this beautiful, sappy li’l weirdo that you are. Your family and friends know it. And that is all that matters.

Don’t worry about me, though. I’ll still be here when this is all over; somewhere in the background watching you; cheering and applauding with all my might, when you have successfully conquered this battle. Or to pull you back up if you somehow manage to act like that Humpty Dumpty retard and fall over the edge again.

I’ll write to you again someday. To remind you of who you really are lest you ever forget. And to show you that you can achieve a lot more than what you’ve settled for. So, keep calm and love yourself, because despite everything, I know I do.

Image Source: knowyourmeme.com

Hey Bully, What's Up?

Lo and Behold beloved readers, for the moment you all so long and desperately waited for has arrived. Yes, we know the ordeal you must have been through. The desperate prayers, sleepless nights and furious anticipations, and finally, Acrimonious Snob has returned. But we didn’t give you a complete dry spell, did we? There was a guest post written exclusively for you, which surely doesn’t make up for our two month long hiatus, but the ordeal that we went through was pretty tormenting too.

So, what sucks about being a 12th grader apart from Boards? Pre boards. We were away studying for these exams, which ultimately proved to be futile since they went horribly, our lives were sucked out of us and we wonder how we even made it alive.

But since we did, here we are with our very first blog post after a long gap. And in case you start wondering about the nature of this post thinking that the drudgery of exams has rendered us melodramatically and extravagantly severe and solemn, well it has.

But that’s not the reason we chose to write this post. The reason is a little more personal.

So, why would the otherwise cheerful and sanguine blogger suddenly choose to write about something as serious as bullying? Because I have seen it happen. And as a high schooler, it shouldn’t be much of a shock. Except that, it was, because I never imagined a friend so close to me, whom I’ve known for around five years, could ever be a victim of it. It’s been a year, and I couldn’t admire her resilience more than I do now. Even though it’s all over now, I still remember all that she went through.

Though her enmity with a certain person begun over something quite petty, probably some argument leading to an ugly fight, she surely wouldn’t have thought it would lead her to where it did. There was name calling, UGLY name calling, flinging out abuses wherever she went, the girl and her accomplices following her and jumping at every chance to insult her.

And then, they fell really low. There was a time when my friend used to wonder that any unknown caller could be the girls trying to harass her. And then there was text bullying, which was all the worse.  Of course, being her friend and sticking up for her, I bore the brunt of it too. But she bore the most. And thanks to Facebook, cyber stalking and cyber bullying was another way to tease her‐ fake accounts and snide comments.

But despite all of it, never once did she dignify those name callings and abuses with a response. She knew it would worsen it all the more. But moreover, she knew she wasn’t that person. And if there is ONE thing she retained through it all, it was her self-respect.

I deliberated a long time coming up with a sentence that would hopefully complement the gravely sombre and widely relevant subject this is. So here is it y’all –bullying sucks.

I’ve had the misfortune of knowing many people having the personality of a breadstick that when you meet them in real life, you wouldn’t believe they are the same people that they come across on Facebook. They aren’t half as “awesome” as they claim to be. And they take on the internet to complain/whine/grumble about everything gone awry.

And while Facebook just made the life of stalkers and bullies so much more convenient, the worst part is that when something is out there on the social media, it is for the world to see. 

The controversial case of Amanda Todd that ended tragically met the wrath of thousands of irascible internet trolls. Nobody condones her actions and whatever she did to face the inevitable consequences that she had to. But the fifteen year old girl is dead now. Can’t we show a little more respect to someone who died?

Or the less controversial case of Balpreet Kaur, who chose to give a placid dignified response to the man who clicked her picture and put it up on some social networking site, mocking her for her looks. Even though her reply made me want to stand up and salute her, it also made me shudder to think that girls live in a world where a bad dressing sense and not sticking up to conventional good , "girly" looks could land their pictures up on the internet for the world to have a good laugh.

Sure, there are many empowering songs and stories of people enduring bullying and emerging out of it as strong individuals. And the victims can always try to make themselves feel better by telling themselves that they will survive it, and all their bullies “are ever gonna be is mean”. But does it really matter?

Do we really think that these bullies themselves feel empty and crushed inside, which is why they act out? That they are the actual losers in life who end up alone in a ramshackle trailer and repent all they did? Well, maybe the loser cyber bullies on the internet would. Maybe not.

But the ones in schools and colleges don’t.

For a high school kid who thrives on popularity, being alienated and left alone is the worst. It is the time -kindly excuse the cheesiness that would follow- when we are yet to figure stuff out, enjoy even the silliest of things, laugh like a hyena, fall for a fictional character or an out of reach celebrity, hope to live like F.R.I.E.N.D.S someday, daydream, have crushes, stress about how we’ll fail the exams or how we passed the deadline for homework, discover ourselves, screw things up and fix ‘em back with no worries about anything because we know that it is all we’re gonna get in a few years (or months). But certainly, it is not a time where we begin self-loathing, worrying about things we shouldn’t be worrying about.

But I have hope. So if someone does drive a person over to the edge to cause them to have this outlook towards life, then yes, you may become rich and successful, or not, but surely all you’re ever gonna be is mean.

Image source : thepunch.com.au